That time again! Click here to check out last year’s guide.

For the Mockingcast superfan looking to spread the word in style: a Mockingcast throw pillow, matching mug set, iPhone case or one of the gazillion other products Redbubble can print a logo on

For your brother-in-law who loves a PBJ just as much as his kids do and is thrilled his youngest finally ‘graduated’ from that insufferably overbearing no-nuts preschool: a subscription to the Sqirl Bimonthly Jam Club

For the couple in your neighborhood who love to entertain but have been at loose ends since A Chef’s Life went off the air and could use some fresh inspiration: Edible spray paint – metallic 3-pack

For whomever you most enjoy binge-watching TV with, especially the good stuff: A Fleabag Season 2 mug, either illustrated or “I Got Chatty at Hilary’s Cafe” versions – and to pour into it, a bag of the 1517 Reformation Roast from Coffee by Gillespie

For your sister’s kids whom she’s privately confessed to you more than once that she feels genuinely enslaved to: The 10 Plagues Plush Toy Set and Sack from Zion Judaica

For your pastor who keeps dropping ominous references in his sermons to denominational turmoil that everyone pretends to understand: Jesus Is My Rock stress ball

For the parents at your bus stop, especially the one who is always on his phone while his kid pokes all the other children with sticks that are a little too pointy: A “Get in the Pool!” T-Shirt

For the Generation Xer who needs something to take their mind (and heart) off the escalating Boomer-Millennial tensions at their family Christmas party: A Set of All 3 ‘Breakin’ ReAction Figures

For your nephew working toward his undergraduate sociology degree who blames absolutely every social ill on Christianity but seemed genuinely intrigued at Thanksgiving when your sister told him that there’s “nothing more Western than being anti-Western”: Dominion: How the Christian Revolution Remade the World by Tom Holland

For your literature-loving church friend with whom you’ve wondered aloud if your pastor and his wife have the same levels of family dysfunction you both do: The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall

For your friend from college who used to be big on social media but then went off the grid without warning and you hear might now be in recovery and going back to church: a gift subscription to the Mockingbird magazine, the Future issue of which comes out in January!

For the most saintly-acting yet not necessarily saintly-looking lady in your life: “Dolly Parton Is My Co-Pilot” bumper stickers

For your exvangelical cousin who used to want to be Roman Catholic but doesn’t want to be Roman Catholic anymore and to whom your heart goes out, which isn’t to say you’re not also fascinated to see where this all ends up: The Heart Is a Full-Wild Beast by John L’Heureux

For your uncle who loves wearing, er, red baseball hats and you think could stand to mix it up a bit, especially when he visits his college-aged daughter at school: a Pizza Planet delivery cap

For the guy at church who does all the AV and without whom you’d really be up the creek, whose wardrobe suggests he’s super into classic rock n soul but who you’ve called by the wrong name one too many times: A copy of Neal Francis’s amazing new (conversion!) record Changes on vinyl or Silicone Boone’s uber-glorious debut The Reaches

For your aunt who went vegan after her divorce and you can’t help but notice has started to develop a bit of an aroma which you fear is impacting her romantic prospects more than anyone wants to admit: Serota’s Underarm Balm

For the young person who’s been out of seminary just long enough to realize that the people in the pew are more tired/sad than ill-informed – or for the faithful Same Old Song listener: Faith Once Delivered by Paul Walker (now available on Kindle!)

For the PZ’s Podcast Listener who’s non-averse to subtitles: The Criterion Collection edition of Bondarchuk’s adaptation of War and Peace

For your dear but technologically-challenged church administrator who’d finally gotten the hang of ClipArt only for her desktop to crap out the same week Christmas Eve bulletins were due: a subscription to the Font of the Month Club

For your workaholic colleague who’s always recommending podcasts that you can’t figure out when they have the time to actually listen to: Seculosity audiobook (coming 12/15!)

For your 9-year-old neighbor whose parents spend the winter months dreading that snow day phone call with every fiber of their being: Wearable Sled Legs

For the Well of Sound listener, AKA what I want for Christmas and will probably end up buying for myself: Radiant Radish t-shirt or Morrissey funko pop figure

For anyone whose favorite sound while watching The Mandalorian is that of Someone Else cleaning your home, AKA “The Willard Gift”: Robotic Vacuum, Stormtrooper edition

For your recently retired Mbird-reading/-tolerating parents looking for the trip of a lifetime: St Matthews Bedford’s “In the Footsteps of Paul” with Paul & Mary Zahl (and DJ JAZ too!) – March 15-28, 2020

For anyone you truly love: Earlybird tickets to the 2020 Mockingbird NYC Conference, April 23-25th. Prices go up on Feb 1! And maybe a Low Anthropology sticker for the envelope.