“Look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own… If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”
– Barack Obama July 13, 2012
When I heard President Obama utter those words I just about lost it. Usually I view the entire freakshow of politics as an insane sidebar — but this statement, made during the 2012 presidential campaign, marked one of those moments when a candidate inadvertently got up in my kitchen. All politics is local, but in this case it got personal. For me, those words had all the awareness of serving pork chops to a kosher vegan. I felt this way because I did build my business from nothing — a small architecture firm.
It opened in 1987, three weeks after the stock market lost 22.6% of its value in one day. The office has weathered four recessions. I have made every payroll, every mortgage payment, and have never laid anyone off in 30 years. Being deeply competitive, every one of our 700 projects (including 200 pro bono designs for non-profits) was sourced by me. Being an egomaniac jackass, every project was, and is, designed by me. So my outrage was based on the fact that I did, in fact, “build that.” The “self-made [sexism trigger warning] man” is not just a Teddy Roosevelt/Ayn Rand/Donald Trump meme; it’s what a lot of humans spend their lives actually doing — whether liberal or conservative.
But we are in the middle of fractious times in the lame soap opera of politics. Ideologies mean less than personalities. There is unrelenting trolling 24/7/365, because we are human. My personalization of the political was just a tiny take on what has become a tidal wave of change.
I think my response to President Obama’s words mirrored that of many who, in the last seven years, voted to reinvent the entire governmental apparatus at every level — House, then Senate, then governors, then state houses — now the presidency. I live in the Bluest of Blue places: Connecticut, but I can and do grok those who voted to validate their lives of making things happen without any evidence of social, cultural, or governmental aid. But I, like every other Christian, know that my need for validation is a screaming signal of my fragility.
My flip-out over President Obama’s words simply proves that my humanity can drift completely away from God in my life. Everything I have done in this world — including designing all those projects and meeting all those payrolls — was undeniably by my hands, but completely through God’s grace.
Everything anyone has done in this world only comes when the drive and skills we are born with are bathed in the gifts of circumstance (that I so fully feed upon), and, somehow, disease and disaster are held at bay long enough to fulfill our mission in life. Not much control there — more an abundance of Grace.
Who knows if President Trump has any sense of this fragility that he shares with everyone — even the most successful among us. But at some point everyone senses the fragility of the human condition: we are the only beings that are fully aware of their own death.
So I have come to know that, in fact, no matter how hard I kicked ass, I did not get here on my own. Every breath was given to me by the miracle of life, let alone health. I have a life partner, not because of any charm or animal magnetism, but because of the miracle of connection. We have children not because of my “motility” or my wife’s alkaline cervical mucus — it’s because we are all miraculously improbable results of a hideously complex process.
We all want to believe that we are “building that.” We want to be in control. We want the arithmetic of Good Intentions fed in Freedom to leverage Hard Work that is then expressed in Fairness that will get the Outcome of Success — easy for a well-educated white male to say. But that message is what all humans want to be true — even if it’s not for those who are not in my demo.
Despite my faith in God, it’s hard to embrace the reality that building my business is not due to the endless labor that actually happened, and happens — every day. Whether we voted for Trump, Clinton, or Voldemort, we want to be fully successful. When anyone says that my autonomy is a myth, that it’s a self-serving delusion, my first response starts with the letter F. And yet I know whatever I have done, it’s a gift — just not a gift given by the creations of other humans.
When the President of the United States tells millions of my fellow “Built that”-ers “you did not build that,” it’s hard to get the bigger reality, the one that God and his Son unrelenting whisper — well actually scream — in my ear when I ascend to high dungeon protesting my worth.
I want to be Don Corelone, but in the reality of God’s overwhelming Grace I sound much more like Fredo. All Christians have this central conflict of interest; it’s the perpetual adolescent conundrum of knowing you have capabilities, you have desire, you even achieve some things, but in the end, you know, deeply, that you owe it all to the support of your parents.
I wish I knew anything as well as President Obama knew that I actually did not build my business, or believe as deeply as President Trump believes that he can make America great again: but that is why this is not a political piece. Politics and religion are not just strange bedfellows — they are, to me, antithetical.
Of course, values are present in politics, including Christian values: but Jesus isn’t running for any office, anywhere. In this oddest of political seasons where action/reaction seems supercharged with defensiveness and anger on all sides I take faith in what I cannot control: the love of God that passes all understanding.
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14 responses to “I Did Not Build Me: Politics, Fragility, and the Self-Made Life”
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On a Thursday night at Chrisitan summer camp (commitment night) many many years ago I surprised everyone by walking forward and announcing that God was calling me to be a lawyer. The Counselors had been trolling for rededications or, if it was a good week, a future missionary. But this week they got a lawyer. Surprisingly my revelation wasn’t well received but it began my lifelong work in public service and to this day I am still working to convince people that God cares about politics. Not like we do. I think from God’s perspective politics isn’t about anything BUT values.
I love your main point Duo, but I just have to raise my hand in defense of those of us God called into government. For us, it feels like holy work. The night Jesus was born the angels said the government would be upon his shoulders. And at the moment Jesus left earth he announced to us that all authority on heaven and earth was his. And the Apostle tells us that one day we will judge angels. So there’s government everywhere in the scriptures.
I see politics and architecture as two of the most likely professions we will carry out in the New Heaven and Earth. I plan to dabble in both. But until then I’ll serve people who either overemphasize my work to an insane degree or treat it as an insane sidebar. Luckily for me, Jesus knows why he has me where he has me and I can trust what he is building in me and through government.
Wouldn’t a sovereign, righteous King negate any need for politics? I trust so. 🙂
Jim, a PS: first, you write so well, a joy to read.
Second, you know of which you speak, without the preach – another good thing.
Third, anytime you give in to your inner architectural demons, do not hesitate to reach out to moi: free advice and worth every penny…
My wife is a lawyer,as was my father, but for we ego maniacs the idea of the Larger Good of Government seems quite a reach into my ego: maybe a good thing: but politics is to government as entrails are to sausage: sausage may be delicious but the ingredients and process is pretty gnarley
The Quiet Storm brings the rain.
I took Obama’s statement to relate to the larger context of community, and unconscious privilege that exists to help people feel “self-made”. So, tracing back your steps, yes it’s true you’ve kept this firm financially stable for many years. How did you start out? Did you get a loan for the building out of which you operate? Then the bank helped you. Did you get student loans in college? Then the government helped you. Did you go to a public high school? That’s paid for by taxes. What do you use to draw your designs? Paper & pen manufacturers help you. (Or computer manufacturers). How did you meet the payrolls? The postal service helped you. Etc. If none of the above is true for you, then maybe your parents helped you with a loan or an investment in your business. I guess the point is, many people were involved in little steps to help make you the success you are today. Not to mention, your clients help you stay in business by purchasing your product. We’re all in this together.
I’ve got nothing but respect for your achievement Duo; without a doubt you have built your business from nothing and that’s something for which you can take a lot of credit. But I agee with Tam’s interpretation of Obama’s words: before you could build your business you needed a stable society in which it could exist: a supply of well-educated employees to hire; a pool of customers who needed and could afford your services; physical infrastructure like power, roads, phones, internet; the list just goes on and on. Some of these things are provided by other self-made individuals, but many are provided the state and public-spirited folk like Jim Moore.
Ahhh, you make my point: my reaction to Obama’s words (like, I suspect the 46% who voted for Trump) picked up on the fragility of the “self-made” outlook – and I did not vote for Trump: Obama’s and Elizabeth Warren’s similar remarks are technically true, but they were tone-deaf to the risks and depth of commitment of us “self-mades”. No one has much reason to brag or boast in the context of the miracle of life, the privilege of living where and how we live: but the truth of extreme effort, (in Faith, for me) is simply there: I wish I was not so defensive in my “Are You Kidding?!?” response, given I know that this is all, everything, is a Gift – but I also wish Obama and Warren could understand the realities of those who put themselves out on the limb, with no net.
To clarify, I’m less concerned with who said it (Obama/Warren/Trump – aka “I had a small loan of a million dollars”), and more concerned with how you see yourself as out on a limb by yourself. So some of the stuff I mentioned benefits all humans, so it’s equal (roads, postal service, public school). Anyone can take advantage of those things to self-make success. But after high school, you get into some pretty interrelated concepts that can’t exist without other people. It’s a privilege to attend college, to afford it, with or without gov’t help, for instance. Or even within your business, do you have assistants who prepare your materials for your important meetings? You say all 700 projects were ‘sourced’ by you – but does that mean you completed every facet of the project alone? What was the catalyst for you to choose this field, or know you could possibly succeed – was there a professor who made an impact on you? All of these are interrelated – and it seems like you’re saying by contrast that the non-self-mades are not committed to their goals or taking any risks, which is just untrue.
Some people pour themselves into work: for wshatevercresson. A portion of those are compelled to create their own company – it’s a minority. It’s the riskiest choice. It’s not better or worse it’s a choice. It’s a choice that puts your efforts at work completely at your responsibility – depending on the macro issues. I have had over 50 employees 4 of them started their oven offices. The others found that working of others is what they wanted to do. If I did not have people who in the moment did not want to have their own business my business would be very different, but this is not the point of the piece: it’s about the frsgility of those who do make their own business – and the fact that the statements made can cut the quick those who probably do not always have Faith pre-empting their sense of fragility. It’s sad that in citing any political anything hackles are raised – even if the cite is intended to show how humans are vulnerable to being human.
um, ok. my political hackles weren’t raised, i was just trying to point out how you were interdependent. but you prefer to remain ‘self-made’ so… good luck with that.
Some people pour themselves into work: for wshatevercresson. A portion of those are compelled to create their own company – it’s a minority. It’s the riskiest choice. It’s not better or worse it’s a choice. It’s a choice that puts your efforts at work completely at your responsibility – depending on the macro issues. I have had over 50 employees 4 of them started their oven offices. The others found that working of others is what they wanted to do. If I did not have people who in the moment did not want to have their own business my business would be very different, but this is not the point of the piece: it’s about the frsgility of those who do make their own business – and the fact that the statements made can cut the quick those who probably do not always have Faith pre-empting their sense of fragility. Ieven – the cite of Obsma’s words and my reaction to them is intended to show how humans are vulnerable to being human.
oops look to the second comment: I edited out hackles and non-words!