The Next Two Hours

This one was written by Jeremy Park. My times are in your hand Psalm 31:15 […]

Mockingbird / 7.25.19

This one was written by Jeremy Park.

My times are in your hand

Psalm 31:15

Back in May, I went with some friends to see Kings Kaleidoscope on their “Adventures of Zeal” tour.

I bought a VIP ticket, so I was able to sit in on the Q&A session with Chad (lead singer) and Daniel (drummer).

I knew I only had one shot at a good question, so I took some time over the week to think about it beforehand. Ultimately, I asked them, What scripture or gospel truths do you come back to, time and time again, when you’re feeling anxious?

For context, Kings Kaleidoscope has been my favorite band for four years. One of the main reasons is that Chad is a master at applying the gospel to his anxiety.

The song “Safe Retreat” is a great example of this. The instrumentation makes me feel like I’m on a boat, sitting on calm waters and watching storm clouds pass in the distance. It just makes me feel safe.

Chad sings about God’s safety in the chorus:

I’ll hide in Your safe retreat
Hide in Your safe retreat
When the storm clouds fly
‘Til they pass me by
I’ll hide in your safe retreat.

Chad has also spoken about how he’s grown in terms of mental health. In a recent podcast, he said that he’s not in the same place as he was a couple years ago, having panic attacks almost every day.

As an anxious person myself, I wanted to find out: How does my favorite artist deal with his anxiety?

That’s why Chad’s response stuck with me:

“I think about how God is sovereign over time. I say, ‘God, you’re sovereign over the next two hours. You know the next two hours of my life. I can suffer for the next two hours.’ That idea has really helped me.”

Since the concert, the idea that God is sovereign over my next two hours has really encouraged me, because I’m always thinking of future misfortune.

As someone who struggles with anxiety, my mind is always inundated with worst-case-scenarios, 99% of which never come true.

I bring the future into the present. I live in my daydreams. I swim in theory.

And I believe we’re all infatuated with the future.

Blaise Pascal once said, “We scarcely ever think of the present; and if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future” (Pensées, 172).

As college students, my peers and I are often asking questions like What am I going to do? Where am I going to live? Who am I going to marry?

But when was the last time we paused, took a deep breath, and actually enjoyed God in the present moment? What would it feel like to stop theorizing and pray to God like David does: “You hold my future” (Ps. 16:5).

We might not know the next two hours of our lives, but we can know the one who does.

He knows all our days and he has good plans for them.

So he invites us into his rest. He wants us to accept his care. He has it all figured out.

So now, I pray:

God, I know you’re in control.

I know you love me.

I know you’ve prepared the coming moments for me.

I know you use everything to help me love you more.

God, give me the strength to get through this.

My times are in your hand.