Nate Bargatze has made a name for himself by being the butt of his jokes. He is typically clueless, or slow, or even dumb. In a recent bit, he describes liking the idea of books, and even buying them, but admits that they are “so many words” and they “never let up.” He pleads for some blank pages to be thrown in, just so he can “get my head above water for two seconds!” The joke works, and apparently makes for a great segue to his own book Big Dumb Eyes. He acknowledges the irony, and even convinced the publisher to include blank pages! My wife and I took this a step further, opting to listen to the audiobook. Nate assured us that this is the way to go. If you’re looking for a road trip listen, I highly recommend it.
The book is titled Big Dumb Eyes, but hidden underneath is a Big Dumb Heart. In his chapter “Raised by a Clown,” Nate tells some stories about his father. There are some funny sections about kids’ birthday parties and high school girlfriends, but the real heart comes out in relation to his own father’s upbringing. Nate’s grandma was a good bowler, but wasn’t good at being a mom. When her son was three years old, he was left outside while she competed and was bit in the face by a dog. He had to have numerous reconstructive surgeries, dealt with speech limitations, and was generally devalued by his mom. She was abusive, an alcoholic, and wanted him out of her life.
In his teens, Nate’s father found himself living on the street until his cousin took him in. This was the first experience he had of a family being good. The cousin and his wife took care of him and took him to church. He experienced grace and unconditional love at home and at their church. It was there that he learned that God loved him no matter what. In the retelling, Nate pauses to explain that this is what people in the South call a testimony. He acknowledges that he typically doesn’t play up these parts of his upbringing, and says, “That’s just between me and you… so don’t tell a soul.” Sounds a bit like when Jesus does the hush hush with his disciples and those he heals. As a summary, he says, “Getting saved by Jesus was the beginning of his (Nate’s dad) career in magic. You know, a tale old as time.”
The darkness and the grace led his father to clowning and magic and comedy, and it seemed to do so as a way to be free from anger and resentment. In fact, a couple years ago, Nate’s grandma got sick, and his father reached out to her. He had tried a few times over the years, but there had always been a barrier. As Nate says,
So this time he just said he was sorry. He was sorry for not being a better son. For not trying harder to make her a part of his family. He said, ‘I just need you to forgive me.’ And it melted her. For the first time in his life he finally felt close to his mom. He said he’d see her in heaven, and they’d have a long time to straighten everything out. She died the next day.
Nate and his father gave me a masterclass on the power and grace of Jesus. The other week, Will McDavid had a great article about how to get your enemies to repent, and Nate’s dad was blessed by the Spirit to live it. And here I was under the impression that he’s just dumb and funny. Nate is in fact a “fool for Christ.” As Paul says to the Corinthians, “We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to human beings. We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored!” To be the butt of the joke, to do the apologizing, these are the upside-down ways of Jesus for us. It’s just what I needed to hear this week.
I’ve always been a fan of stupid comedy. The dumber the better. In fact, many “classic” movies have little to no storylines at all. As the saying goes, they’re just a “vehicle for the jokes.” I have already found Nate’s comedy to be a “vehicle for the grace.” And I can’t wait to hear more. Nate admits up front that books are so many words, which sounds a lot like “of the writing of many books there is no end” (Ecc 12). To me it’s not a matter of many or few, but of depth. His gift is not actually big or dumb. But it will open your eyes and your heart to God’s strange work in our lives.
