This isn’t a tips list that can be found in Magnolia magazine, the New Yorker, Wikihow, Reddit, or whatever online thread to which you go searching for answers. In fact, this isn’t much of a tip list at all. This is more of a compilation of things that served as my surprising – and oftentimes frustrating – initiation into adulthood. Maybe you, too, have experienced these things.

So from one mediocre adult attempting to survive the world to another, here we go: 

1. The Trader Joe’s frozen food section is my best friend (along with the various options of hummus and tzatziki sauce). Cooking for one is about as satisfying as throwing a party and no one showing up. A TJ meal is sufficiently satisfying, but with about half the emptiness of solitude. It’s a step up from all the ramen you ate in college and won’t take more than 15 minutes to prepare. You’ve got a range of vegan and gluten free options. And if you’re not gluten free or vegan you can shop to your heart’s content! Either that or just eat the ramen — any food at all is good food. Bonus tip: The Chicken Tikka Samosas from TJ are utter perfection.

2. Making friends as an adult is… so hard. If someone suggests that the two of you should hang out sometime there is little to no follow-up. “Let’s hang out sometime” is really just something people say to be nice when you first meet them. More than likely you will have to initiate it *gasps the introvert*. What I’ve found that works? Telling people, “Hey, you’re my friend now okay? Okay.” Sort of like Facebook, but for real. Oh, and quality over quantity. We can no longer depend on high school or college to help keep our social life busy. And without a nuclear family of our own — it’s no surprise that people in their 20’s have felt the most isolated during the pandemic. Long work hours and extra shifts might advance your career, but finding friends will make your life infinitely better. 

3. Look up weather reports and plan accordingly. Trust me. If you don’t own a good umbrella, buy one and take it with you when the weather person says so. An unexpected snow day just isn’t as fun as it used to be. Snow days meant snowball fights, snowman making, hot cocoa, and movie marathons. Those things aren’t as appealing when your power goes out and a humongous magnolia tree branch lodges itself into your front windshield (too specific?). Oh, and the grocery shopping you forgot to do the other day? Have fun eating canned chickpeas and over ripe bananas.

4. You may spend a lot of time by yourself (sensing a theme here?). Which means that picking up hobbies like knitting, reading, unicycling, Pokemon Go-ing are helpful if you need to distract yourself from an existential crisis. Talking to a therapist is also not a bad idea.

5. After your second move, you’ll realize that cardboard boxes and U-hauls are always on the horizon. But even if a place feels temporary, it doesn’t mean that you can’t unpack and make things more homey or cozy. So hang your picture frames, put up the string lights, buy your favorite scented candles, and plant those flowers in the front yard. A lived-in home is much more comforting than a generic hotel room.

6. People are going to tell you to put yourself out there and go on dating apps. Family members are going to ask if you have a significant other. Nowadays, there’s an expectation that twentysomethings should be in a relationship, or at the very least, actively looking for one. Life doesn’t begin once you’re in a relationship. Life has already begun. And sometimes — oftentimes — taking yourself on a date is more fun and less anxiety-provoking.

7. Going to church is weird when you are an adult. Long gone are the days of high school youth groups or even college Bible studies. Volunteering to be a greeter or reader is helpful in getting you to church when you struggle to find the motivation to sit in a pew on Sunday morning. Sometimes churches have a Women’s Bible Study one morning a week. And perhaps you’ll find that eating pastries and drinking coffee with sassy moms and adorable grandmas is just the thing you’ve needed after all this time.

8. When it feels like all the big things in your life are going wrong, it may be time to take a break. Some days a break means going on a walk or calling a friend. And other days it means having a Harry Potter movie marathon, sleeping in, or watching dog videos on TikTok. Either way, there are little things in life that may be going okay and that’s enough (not being okay is also okay). No matter what life looks like for you right now, may you find rest in the One who will one day make everything more than just okay.

 

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