What started as a well-meaning promise came back to haunt me within the hour. “If we leave Uma and Papa’s house soon, then we can get donuts before church!” We had stayed the night with my parents, and in the chaos of getting us packed and ready to head back to church in the town where we live, I made a bad parenting move: I bribed my three-year-old with the promise of a donut.
By the time our luggage was haphazardly tossed in the hatch and both kids were strapped, locked, and tightened into their car seats, we barely had time to stop at Starbucks for the coffee I — desperately — needed.
There would be no time for donuts.
The hour-long car ride was stressful. Our kids had been awake half the night thanks to sharing a room in a place that wasn’t their home. They love my parents’ home, but the slightest change has been known to throw off even the most well-oiled sleep routines. Exhausted and cranky I tried to usher in the Holy Spirit vibe with some folksy hymns. Our car sounded like an altar call at a Billy Graham Crusade. “Great is Thy Faithfulness,” “Be Thou my Vision,” and “How Great Thou Art” poured out of my speakers, yet the mood continued to sour.
My three-year-old was nearing meltdown mode over the donut fiasco. My husband and I were frustrated. The ten-month-old fell asleep before it was his nap time. It was utter chaos.
I knew if we continued in this way there would be yelling and tears from us all. It was a bleak time. When things are crumbing around you and your best well-meaning plans have failed, sometimes you have to go rogue. I grabbed my phone and pulled up Spotify. I didn’t tell anyone what I was going to play, and without any warning, I started playing the most unexpected song:
The vibe shift was instantaneous. As fart after fart began to blast from our speakers, we all began to laugh. Tears were drying! We had avoided a full-on level-5 meltdown, all thanks to Mr. Farts.
The Advent parallels are obvious, right? When human work fails, when our own doings aren’t enough, when the work we do to bring about peace, joy, hope, and love fail, the unexpected bursts out to bring light and life where previously we felt only death and darkness.
We pulled into the church parking lot with Mr. Farts blaring, and for the moment, my toddler forgot all about the donuts. That alone felt like a miracle, but little did I know I was actually about to receive an even better miracle.
It sounds too crazy to be true, but as we walked into our church we were greeted by a table laden with donuts! Boxes and boxes of donuts from our family’s favorite donut shop. What?? and How?? were my instant thoughts! Then I remembered that the bishop was in town that day to visit and preach. He was the reason for the donuts. The bishop’s unexpected (to me) visit led to a true Advent miracle. The joy on my toddler’s face was priceless. She had three donuts that day!
I had overpromised and underdelivered, but thanks be to God that sometimes miracles happen and donuts arrive like manna from heaven. Thanks be to God also that Advent is a season of the unexpected.
In the popular Advent hymn we sing “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus,” but rarely does Jesus come in the way we expect. Christ the King arrived as a little baby in the middle of nowhere. The promised hero of the Jewish people was crucified by the Roman rulers. These aren’t the expectations people held for the prophesied Messiah. But as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells us: “Expectations are planned resentments.”
Advent is a season to ponder the unexpected. Where might we find peace, joy, hope, and love where we previously thought there was none? How does the story of the Nativity and Jesus’ birth in first-century Palestine speak to the darkness we experience in the world and in our own inner lives right now?
That morning on the way to church, what I thought I needed was somber hymns and being the perfect put-together mom, but turns out I needed to let go of my expectations and let joy take over. With a table of donuts, God overdelivered in the face of my promise of one measly donut. That’s the way of God. He wants to lavish his children, us, with a banquet of the unexpected.
This Advent I hope to open myself up to the unexpected. To stop holding on so tight to my own plans and desires. To give up on my own striving and let myself be surprised by the mysterious joys around me, including Mr. Farts. I will try to let donuts be a reminder of the power God has to provide a way when previously there was none. The unexpected gift of grace is the antidote to our work. Jesus is the gift that comes to us when we have nothing to give him in return. The baby born in a manger is unexpectedly the answer to humanity’s problem, leaving me wondering once again, What?? and How??
May God bless you and your family this holiday season, and if things start to get a little harried or stressful, then I invite you to turn up a funny song and enjoy a donut! God is with you always, especially in unexpected places.
“God is with you always, especially in unexpected places.”
Always true!