One more remarkable passage from Brennan Manning’s All Is Grace: A Ragamuffin Memoir, ht DJ:
“I celebrated my seventy-seventh birthday in April. If you asked me whether what I have done in my life defines my life, I would answer, ‘No.’ That’s not to diminish my sins or humble-bumble my successes. It is simply to affirm a grace often realized only in the winter of life. The winter is stark but also comforting. I am, and have always been, more than the sum of my deeds. Thank God.
If asked whether I have fulfilled my calling as an evangelist, I would answer, ‘No.’ That answer is not guilt-ridden or shamefaced. It is to witness to a larger truth, again more clearly seen in my later days. My calling is, and always has been, to a life filled with family and friends and alcohol* and Jesus and [ex-wife] Roslyn and notoriously good sinners.
If asked whether I am going gently into old age, I would answer, ‘No.’ That’s just plain honest. It is true that when you are old, you are often led where you would rather not go. In a wisdom that some days I admit feels foolish, God has ordained the later days of our lives to look shockingly similar to that of our earliest: as dependent children.
If asked whether I am finally letting God love me, just as I am, I would answer, ‘No, but I’m trying’.”
*Manning has always been very candid about his struggles with alcoholism.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqe8pv4ZLjI&w=600]
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One response to “Brennan Manning on Calling, Dependency and the Winter of Life”
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I saw him speak in Abbotsford B.C. about 3 years ago. He was very old and frail looking then; I was a little surprised by it. He was extremely candid about the failure of his marriage, and I think with the crowd there it kind of turned icy, like “should he really be up there teaching us? We need SUCCESSFUL famous teachers, not openly failing teachers.”
I really loved it, as I was experiencing some difficulties at the time. I’m glad he is writing about this into his last days, because I am sure we all need grace of different measures right up to the end, and it is nice to hear from someone in that place saying – “Yes! His grace is still sufficient! I’m still a mess but I’m still assured He loves me!” That is an amazingly different message than the progressive sanctification / murky assurance that we are usually fed. This reminds me that at the edge of death, our assurance is reassuring!