Two Kinds of Churches

When you have kids, you have many hopes for their future. That they might find love, find their place in this crazy world, and find a fulfilling career (that hopefully pays the bills). In the midst of all that, you probably also hope that they find Jesus. Sure, they went to youth group and Bible studies and mission trips. You tried to point them in the right direction as best you could. Even so, where they end up as adults is largely in God’s hands. But what if the church they attend isn’t the “right” church?

I bring this up because I recently had a conversation with a couple who are my age and generation, a.k.a. Boomers. They were struggling with their adult son’s embrace of a Christianity and church that were far more conservative than their own.

On one hand, they were grateful that their son’s faith had helped him overcome, or be set free from, alcohol abuse and the kinds of problems that go with that. But they were disturbed by his version of Christianity and his lack of respect for their own faith and church.

For the sake of discussion, I suggested, let’s say there are two kinds of churches: one we will call “Golden Rule” churches, and the others are “Jesus Saves” churches. (Reality is more complex than that, but sometimes keeping it simple can be helpful when trying to navigate areas of life fraught with hurt and judgment.)

“Golden Rule Churches,” which describes many mainline or liberal churches, put their emphasis on being kind and loving toward all we meet and accepting those who are different in some, or many ways, say economic condition or sexual identity. Favorite biblical passages, besides the Golden Rule (Mt 7:12), are Matthew 25:31 and following where Jesus says, “Inasmuch as you did it to the least of these, you did it to me.” Or Micah 6:8, “What does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with your God.”

“Jesus Saves Churches” probably fits most evangelical churches. Far and away the favorite biblical passage would be John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not die but have eternal life.” Or any number of Pauline texts, say II Corinthians 5:21, “For our sake God made him (Jesus) to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” The Great Exchange.

To my friends, I suggested that we had grown up in a more stable world, where institutions like the family, church, public schools, and civic groups were allied in their support of a “Golden Rule Christianity.” “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Such Christianity dovetailed with tolerance and pluralism.

For many in their son’s generation, however, life was different and more chaotic. Institutions were less reliable. The pace of change had accelerated. Substance abuse was common. Trust had gone missing. Theirs was a world of family breakup, absent fathers, and various forms of addiction.

While for many of us in our generation faith had kind of always been there and went along with being part of the community, for many in their son’s generation, faith involved a dramatic break with the past and rescue from some hell. Their son, for example, described the way that Jesus had spoken to him, taking a drink out of his hand and alcohol out of his life. My friends were, by the way, a second marriage. The biological father of the young man was absent during his formative years.

Again, I’m oversimplifying, or exaggerating, to make a point. But we don’t all come to faith by the same route. And today in America, there are big differences in the life experience of different generations and social classes. On the latter factor, social class, the gap (both economically and culturally) between the college educated and the non-college educated, a.k.a. “working class,” is huge. That gap has been accentuated and furthered by politics.

But too often, all this results in an absence of grace toward Christians and churches who are different than our own. Their son pretty much dismissed their “Golden Rule” church as “not really Christian.” Meanwhile, his parents were put off both by the high degree of certainty (read: “rigidity”) of their son’s faith and, in particular, by what his church taught about male and female roles. His church put the emphasis on the role of the man as the “leader” in the family.

I understand my friends’ dismay over the very traditional, patriarchal male and female roles, but I also noted that among the working class/non-college educated, the out-of-wedlock birth rate is now nearing 50%. And the truth is, especially among this social class, there is a clear correlation between single parenting and poverty.

All of this is to say that getting men in that social class to be responsible husbands and fathers has become a big challenge. While emphasizing male authority is not my solution and has a potential for abuse, I get that this is one understandable response to the crisis of family instability and absent fathers among the working class and rural poor.

In my ideal church, “Golden Rule” and “Jesus Saves” would both have a place and really be held together. Both are biblical. Both have a legitimate part of the Christian faith. And both are needed in the faith life of most of us.

You could make a good argument that each of these types of church are really in desperate need of the core doctrine of the other. Jesus Saves reminds the Golden Rule folks that despite our best intentions, we too fail and need grace; while the Golden Rule speaks to the Jesus Saves people of a Jesus who is unfailingly generous and regards no person as beyond the pale. Think of it in terms of “the stone rejected by the builders has become the cornerstone.” Relentlessly drilling down on one part of the faith, we risk missing Jesus who so often lingers in that which discomforts and disturbs us.

One tradition where I do find that these two are more or less held together is the historic black, or African American, church. There “Jesus Saves” and justice go together. I also note something similar in many North American churches of immigrant communities, whether Asian or African. They tend to hold together the generous service and personal transformation themes and experiences. Historically, both communities have been closer to the margins in our society, which is now where many of the rural working class also find themselves.

When you’re at the margins, the stronger medicine of “Jesus Saves” may be needful in ways that aren’t quite the same for those who grew up with greater cultural stability and closer to the mainstream. The contemporary increase and spread of precariousness to all social groups/classes in America probably goes a long way toward explaining Golden Rule church decline as well as the growth of Jesus Saves churches.

The couple that sought my counsel are not alone in being flummoxed by the faith/church embraced by their son. Their confusion and dismay are real. We can’t, however, control where we are found by God. He can find us in a hand-waving church, a suit and tie church, a cheesy-sign-out-front church, or in a  liberal, conservative, “Jesus Saves,” or “Golden Rule” church. God can show up when we’re at our lowest and amid the most sublime of life’s joys. It matters not where but by whom one is found.