In case you haven’t heard, the Biography Channel ain’t your Dad’s late night insomnia cure any longer. Over the past few months they have relaunched as “fyi,” (yes, the weird comma is in the logo). And they are turning out some really wild programming.
Married at First Sight (Tuesdays at 9ET/10PT) is a show billed as a “social experiment” where people volunteer to get married to complete strangers. They meet for the first time when they exchange their vows. Six people were narrowed down from hundreds of applicants to be paired together in attempted wedded bliss. Four experts, a sexologist, psychologist, sociologist, and a spiritualist (how do I get that job?), narrowed down these six daring individuals to three couples.
Now, I know this premise has the distinct possibility of cheapening marriage. But you should check it out. This is not some Bachelor/Bachelorette swept away to an exotic local and everyone is super good looking sort of show. These are real people. With real problems. Who really want to be married. Think the first few seasons of MTV’s Real World with the awkwardness of an American arranged marriage.
The first episode was painful at best. There is the initial meeting at the wedding in front of all your friends and family. The couples seemed to waver between complete elation and panic attacks during the reception. And then comes the honeymoon. So these people have just married a complete stranger and now they have to vacation together? And while most of us will never find ourselves in a “I choose the person behind door number three” marriage situation, Married at First Sight offers some surprisingly important lessons at these pivotal life moments.
The gorgeously hip Monet and Vaughn are like watching a really attractive train-wreck. They have sex on their wedding night, because, you know, it’s their wedding night. Except that it was also the first day they met, so it was sort of like a one night stand followed by a honeymoon or as I like to call it, hell. Their honeymoon appears to be days of forced intimate time together arguing about their expectations. Basically, they cannot figure out how to be emotionally intimate because they were physically intimate so quickly. It is heartrending.
Then there’s Cortney and Jason. And while they seem to ease into this with the same level of enthusiasm for one another, a painful commonality also becomes quickly apparent. Cortney’s family is not on board and Jason’s mother has terminal cancer. Neither of them had family members at the wedding. So when they head back to live together, it feels like something is missing. I think it is easy in those first few months of marriage to negate the value of family support. After all, you are so in love and burnt casseroles are cute. But I can’t help but think of my own marriage when I watch Cortney and Jason. After a feverish romance, we got engaged, got married, and moved to New York City. I remember looking at my husband that first week and thinking “Oh God, I’ve married a stranger and my parents are so far away.” Cortney and Jason seem to have that moment on repeat and in stereo sound.
But the shining star of this show, the reason you must watch every episode, is a very normal guy named Doug. He is awkwardly tall, from New Jersey, and, looks-wise, not exactly in the same league as his wife. And when his wife, Jaime, met him, she had the come-aparts in a hotel hallway because she wasn’t “sexually attracted to him.” But here’s the thing about Doug, he is tenaciously forgiving of Jaime. When she doesn’t want to call the post-marriage getaway a honeymoon, Doug starts calling it a vacation. When his wife cannot remember what his last name is, he laughs. When Jaime refuses to have sex with Doug (and to be honest, a month in I’m still not sure they have), he gives her all the space she needs. And when he is interviewed about Jaime’s initial apprehension of him he claims that he will grow on her “like a fungus.” And here’s the thing: he is right. No matter how guarded Jaime is, Doug expresses relentless joy for her. And Jaime is dumbfounded by his devotion.
This tactic of loving her until she loves back came to the most beautiful fruition in last week’s episode. It turns out that Jaime, with model worthy good looks and a great job, grew up dirt poor in an upstate New York trailer park. Her mom is addicted to drugs and she has no idea who her dad is. And she shares all of this with Doug after having held it so close to the chest for so long. And when she disclosed her truest self, he loved her all the more.
Doug loved his new bride into vulnerability (Brene Brown, much?). He saw her walls and didn’t charge them, but instead hung out at the bottom and told cheesy jokes. He is my new hero and marriage guru. “Don’t cry for me, Alabama,” says Doug, “I will grow on her, like a fungus.” One can only hope it’s the contagious kind.
COMMENTS
14 responses to “Love Lessons from Fungus: Married at First Sight”
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I want to be friends with Doug. Slash like Doug, in my marriage. How incredible! Thanks for sharing. I may have a new show to watch while folding laundry, now 😉
Team Doug! Thanks for reading, Hawley!
Doug and Jamie are wonderful, can’t wait to see the rest of their season.
Me too, Janice! Thanks for reading!
What a well-written article. Even though I lived it, watching it back reminds me how patient Doug was with me. Reading this article nearly brought tears to my eyes. He’s got the good fungus and it’s definitely contagious. ☺
Jamie! Wow! Thanks for reading! I’m so grateful you liked it. I’m a big fan!!!
I love Doug and Jamie together! They’re my favorite couple. I love seeing how brutally honest she is while Doug is very patient and understanding with her. Love it.
I was hooked to the show because of #TeamFungus, aka #TeamDamie. There was something magical in their relationship that really pulled me in. This is the second time in my entire life watching a reality show, the first one was back in 2008 (a singing competition, by the way) LOL
I know Jamie and Doug are still together and I hope they get to live happily ever after.
This article was so spot on!! Kudos to the writer. Greetings from Puerto Rico (USA). =)
Doug may not be exactly in the same league as his wife but his personality has made him ADORABLE. He is so patient, caring, gently and sweet to Jamie. He has amazing smile, smokin hot body and his personality makes him so incredibly sexy. If it doesn’t work out with Jamie, I’m sure Doug will have no problem finding someone to appreciate all that he has to offer. That being said, I sure hope Jamie sees what an amazing husband she has and open her heart to him.
I love this show as well. Doug and Jamie are my favorite couple. Every woman should be blessed to have such a great husband.
Actually, Doug looks a lot like Jason Statham. See the picture on Jamie’s FB page. She’s a lucky girl to have someone so sweet and HOT adore her so much. I really hope she sees what she has and not blow it because of issues from her past. They will make adorable babies.
I have been a HUGE fan of Jamie’s for a long time. There are few people like her. I mean this WOMAN has pulled herself UP from a sure wreck of a home life and now is a self made hero for many out there. What a person… Jamie has family that she can rely on and adore her for the sacrifice she made for them. I am an Old Marine Officer and am SO thankful Ben didn’t see the person Jamie was. I wanted to jump thru the Television and begin on him. Now I see Jamie with Doug. Love grows… It is the small things that make it grow. Doug is spot on for her. Jamie, we all make mistakes… Forgiveness is key. Please read your Robin Williams post from Good Will Hunting over and over again. So PROUD of you! You are the reason I am watching this show! God Bless you.
I completely agree – Doug is amazing, Jamie is amazing – they are my favorite couple on the show and I’m rooting for them! I don’t have twitter, but I’ve been reading Jaime’s tweets and it sounds very promising 🙂 I have a very sweet, thoughtful husband with good chemistry (it sounds like their chemistry is there now!), and having a NICE man makes a huge difference in life. I know that I can always count on him. I had a difficult childhood – in very different ways that Jaime’s, but difficult in it’s own ways – so I have my issues and could relate to Jaime’s (over?) reaction to Doug’s smoking and initial lie, but having a safe person like Doug (and my husband) makes it all okay. My husband can ride out my crazy moments just fine 🙂 Doug has the patience of a saint and it’s wonderful! Jaime will probably always have little blips of fear or insecurity, but she will actually BE safe with Doug, and that will help a lot. Also, the show didn’t mention it, but I saw a sweet side to the cigarette incident… it showed how affected Doug was by seeing Jaime’s pain that day. And how much he didn’t want to let her down by his immediate reaction to deny everything. Of course he made a mistake, but it was a very brief, small one, and he made it clear during the other 99% of the time that he is a trustworthy guy. I’m so happy for Jaime (and Doug!). True love is wonderful to see, whether it’s with our friends or family or on TV 🙂
Everyone who has stated they know Doug and Jaime are still together. You realize the show is not real time. The decisions are under wraps but made in April. On Tuesday, they will air a reunion show after the last episode. As for Doug being in Jaime’s League for looks he most definitely is. Remember women always look better on TV because due to Makeup, Hair Clothes etc. Studies have shown most beautiful women choose not to marry them that are drop dead handsome because they feel that man would be leso likely to cheat. I do hope they are still together too. We will see on Tuesday. Either way I wish them happiness.