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Posts tagged "Fatherhood"

The Weight of Masculinity, Toxic or Otherwise

The Weight of Masculinity, Toxic or Otherwise

In our house, emotions were embraced. I was never told that “boys don’t cry;” it was never implied that men hide their emotions. When your dad is a professional opera-singing pastor-psychologist, and your mother a high-powered hospital executive, you get different messages about gender norms than most. As if you needed proof: my parents let me dress in a bathrobe and red heeled slippers and pretend to be Wendy from Peter Pan until I was four. If Peter Pan is a woman (the incredible Mary Martin), why can’t Wendy be a man?

That freedom was cut short. “Boys can’t play with…

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The World's Greatest Dad

The World’s Greatest Dad

My wife is pregnant with our first child, which means that soon I will become the World’s Greatest Dad. I know this because I have done all the self-work necessary to understand how my parents failed me in my childhood. Using this self-knowledge, I will not make any of the mistakes my mother and father made. With mistakes eliminated, all that will be left is a good, healthy childhood. I just really want my children to have to “unlearn” as little as possible, you know?

Now to buy a baby book. Which one will show me the correct way to…

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Let’s Have an Uncomfortable Talk About Infertility and (I Guess) Grace

Let’s Have an Uncomfortable Talk About Infertility and (I Guess) Grace

This moving reflection comes to us from Ben Maddison.

Sitting alone in the doctor’s office at a quarter past two on a Wednesday, I held out hope that I was still in control of my life. After a year and a half of trying—of home tests and office tests, and pills and vitamins and online tips, and all those pesky “lifestyle changes”—I waited for the doctor to come in and give me the news I wanted. I sort of knew I was grasping at straws. That didn’t stop me from hoping for the best.

It’s weird to anxiously wait for test results…

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Let Us Now Praise Fathers: On Taking the Patriarch for Granted

Let Us Now Praise Fathers: On Taking the Patriarch for Granted

A few weeks ago one of my girlfriends asked me to pray for her husband. They were getting back some major test results and she was worried he might be critically ill. He wasn’t. Thank God. But what she said on the phone about the possibility stayed with me. She said, “I feel bad for thinking this. But there’s just so many things he does. I don’t know what I would do without him.”

I knew immediately what she meant. I do not know what day the trash goes out. I hate driving anywhere I do not have to. And the…

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Grace with Daughters and Sons: A Breakout Session

Father-son and father-daughter relationships are among the most influential and emotionally fraught relationships for just about everybody. When it comes to their relationship with their father, no one is emotionally neutral. In this breakout session we’ll look at these relationships through the two lenses of law and gospel with examples and illustrations from movies, life and ministry experience, with some scripture as well.

What this session is not is “10 Principles to be an Effective Father” or “5 Ways to Fix Your Kids.” What it is instead is a look at the effects of law-based relationships with daughters and sons versus the effects of grace-based relationships with daughters and sons.  Even though it’s a pretty heavy topic, we have a lot of fun with it.

Here’s the audio recording from the session.

[audio http://www.mbird.com/resources/?show&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mbird.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F09%2F02-Grace-with-Daughters-and-Sons.mp3]

Click here for a copy of the handout used.

Or, if you prefer, you can download it by right clicking here and selecting “Save link as…”