This breakout preview comes to us from Debbie and Ellis Brazeal.
Nietzsche said that he would only believe in a “God who dances.”
As Mockingbird devotees, and survivors of three marriages, Debbie and I have come to believe in a dancing God. Yet, this view of God only came after years, many years, in which we didn’t.
A romantic courtship, with breathless excitement and anticipation of an American-dream marriage, quickly turned into a marriage of unmet expectations from both sides. Indeed, each of us hurt the other (albeit unintentionally) in the very fashion that would cause the most pain. We unknowingly tread upon the past hurts and expectations that each of us brought into the marriage.
Our marriage devolved into separate lives with no hope of reconciliation–none. We certainly didn’t believe in a dancing God–in one who could bring dance into our marriage. We believed in a God who rewarded effort and wise decisions. We thought we had married the wrong person. In fact, we each wished that the other was dead or that we were dead.
But then, the dancing God, the God we talk about at Mockingbird, stepped in. By God’s limitless grace, we both began learning of a God who knew the depths of our dark hearts–the true extent of our sinful flaws–but loved us nonetheless with His limitless, eternal love. Over the years, as we became more convinced of God’s unfathomable, eternal love for us, we began to love each other.
My favorite parable is the one concerning the “treasure in the field.” Virtually always, the “treasure in the field” is construed as the Kingdom of God. Yet, when you review the parables surrounding it (the lost coin, the lost sheep), it becomes abundantly clear (as I first learned from CI Scofield) that we are the “treasure in the field,” that Christ sold everything (gave His life) to purchase. The character of a Kingdom is determined by the character of the King.
This King is the savior and redeemer of individuals, of marriages, and of all creation. As Sally Loyd Jones writes in Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing: “God made everything in his world and in his universe and in his children’s hearts to center around him–in a wonderful Dance of Joy! It’s the dance you were born for.”
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7 responses to “Multiple Marriages to the Same Spouse: A Conference Breakout Preview”
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It is our observation that the egalitarian leaning evangelical church has established 2 idols, or pillars if you will; family and sexual purity. Of course they wouldn’t call them that but they are the “efforts and wise decisions” that we were promised God would reward. This brand of Christianity has killed more marriages and friendships than we can count. It is the silent killer that 40 something parents dare not discuss.
We can’t wait for this breakout!!
That should read complementarian not egalitarian.
Hi Brian–
You are so spot-on, regarding the ‘complementarian’ evangelical church!! As a never-married person, I get sick and tired of the overemphasis on family. And of course, for the single person, sex is a big ‘no-no’.
Not that I am averse to either thing. Premarital sex has wrecked a lot of lives (including nearly my own). And marriage is not something in my near or far future. But they have been held up as ‘God-promised rewards’, if ‘one does X, Y & Z’.
Wish I could be at the Mockingbird Conference, to hear this breakout session.
Dance to it! https://youtu.be/w5_EIikdFr8
Brian: Great comments. Look forward to seeing you in NYC. Please look us up.
Patricia: So appreciated your comments as well. I think our talk will be recorded. I am so excited that it interests you. Debbie and I were worried that the marriage aspect might cause some to be disinterested. Ours is a story about a God who is a redeemer in all relationships and aspects of our lives. Yet, we know that life and relationships will continue to be difficult–we’re not Pollyana–at least I hope not.
Matt: You would pick the “Pina Colada Song.” :). But it’s entirely apropos. We each thought we had married the wrong person, but it turned out that we hadn’t. Or, perhaps better, we all marry the wrong person, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.
I wonder if Nietzsche ever danced. If he did, he must only have danced alone. I think a god who only dances with himself is what Nietzsche was thinking of when he wrote the words that lead off this post. A god as lonely as Nietzsche’s ubermensch, as lonely as Nietzsche himself. Misery loves company.
Ellis, I like this version of Lord of the Dance … more symbolic of my life. I sent this link to my sister. Would love to know if your conference as recorded so you could send to her as well. As a lawyer, she needs to hear more about the grace you found 😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yo-UYCoZ9o