As a Christian, I often feel the heavy weight of putting my best foot forward no matter what is happening in my life. Because I believe in Jesus Christ, I should always be happy and praising God at every moment. The problem is, it’s not true; I don’t feel that way all the time. In the midst of sorrow and suffering I want to throw my bible rather than read it; I want to cry rather than praise; I want to scream “why?!” rather than give thanks. Even after about six years of biblical and theological study, when I’m hit with sorrow and suffering my heart still breaks, I still cry out and weep and, some times, even doubt.
But these emotions are not signs of disbelief or unfaithfulness.
Rather, they are the desperate and honest cries of a broken heart. Cries that demonstrate my humanity and my deep need for something bigger than and beyond myself. In sorrow and suffering, I am backed into a corner, all my abilities and strengths rendered useless. I am broken. I am needy. I am helpless. In sorrow and suffering, I fall down before the Cross and plead for help and am made fully aware of my finitude and my inability to do anything else.
COMMENTS
9 responses to “"Better Than a Hallelujah"”
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Great stuff Lauren; the Psalms reflect this sentiment well…most 'praise songs' do not.
Nothing makes me more depressed than a praise song. Instead of praise songs, I want to go to John's pool party… if I can stay fully clothed.
Thanks, Dylan. I love the psalms and feel we don't–often enough–dip into them in search of real and rather raw emotion…the psalms are a good place for venting…really, I've been there as have most of us. Again, thanks for your words.
Hey Lauren, lovely post, so nice to see you on here.
I agree with StampDawg.
This is a very Real, moving, and uplifting post.
Thank you for it.
I found this song several weeks ago as one of the top songs in the iTunes Christian genre. Usually filled with non-Gospel centered tunes, I read the lyrics for this song and shouted "Yes! This is it!" Thanks for this post.
Lauren, That is a great song and thanks so much for it…I doubt if she could have sung it like that before things went all to hell for her, so to speak. A broken and contrite heart, Lord, you will not despise…
Michael: that has been my thought since i've heard the song. Even the videos (all the various versions) of her singing the song demonstrate that she understands what it means to be broken. frankly, i don't know how one could even sing that song without the deep awareness/experience of a broken heart. So, yes, i completely agree with you…this song is a far cry from "I have decided"!
SD: thanks for the welcome back. great seeing you at mbird.
paul: thank you for your words.
val: i had a similar reaction (see above comment to Michael). In fact I did a double take when I realized who was singing…really awesome songs. the amazing thing is the feedback from the listeners on youtube…over and over again you see comments like "i heard this and just started crying…"