“…Go forth into the world, there thou wilt learn what poverty is. But as thou hast not a bad heart, and as I mean well by thee, there is one thing I will grant thee; if thou fallest into any difficulty, come to the forest and cry, “Iron John,” and then I will come and help thee. My power is great, greater than thou thinkest, and I have gold and silver in abundance.” – From the Brothers Grimm fairy tale Iron John
If there is one thing I have noticed over the years about the male gender, it is the need. There is an interesting contradiction in the masculine. On one hand, he will run up the stairs of a burning World Trade Center tower to rescue survivors, cover a live grenade with his body in order to save his friends, endure unspeakable torture in order to keep faith to his country, and defend his family’s home to the death. On the other hand, a negative word from a father or respected elder will fold him like a house of cards. There is a deep, deep need in the inside of a man.
The industrial and technological revolutions of the past couple of centuries have done a lot of good in terms of material prosperity and quality of life. The ill it has done, however, is to take fathers away from their sons at critical junctures. Gone are the days of the father teaching the son about seasons of planting and harvest, the habits of the whitetail deer, and the various uses of particular timber stands. Of course, these skills are not the important thing. What is important is the amount of time spent with the son… that the son is worthy of time and effort and vitally important to the family.
The industrial and technological revolutions have placed a premium on a high level of expertise. They have also created a workplace away from the home and that leads to the father’s absence for most of the day. Boys are placed in schools which are often geared toward feminine ways of learning (a good documentary to watch on this subject is Raising Cain). Frustration sets in and self-worth deteriorates. The essence of who he is seems to be obsolete and even frowned upon. He then grows up and the same pattern is repeated with his son. The need of the boy to be affirmed by an older male is acute and underestimated by society.
Sadly, the male reticence about expressing emotions is frequently assumed to be indicative of emotional hardness. Nothing could be further from the truth. A denial of blessing often leads to a quite desperate young man.
In Rod Rosenbladt’s presentation on the theology of the Reformation as it relates to fathers and sons (which, along with the amazing t-shirt below, can be purchased at New Reformation Press), he places his finger squarely on the problem and the solution. The problem is described above: there are precious few (if any) ways for a young man in our society to receive the blessing of an older male (particularly a father). A lack of initiation rites, if you will.
The solution comes in the form of an analogy to the insights of the Reformation. The Reformers found that Scripture teaches an imputed righteousness, i.e. the blessing of God given to sinful men and women, acquired only by grace and only through faith. The essence of this righteousness belongs to Jesus Christ only. But it is given freely. In this way, there is a sense of reality for the person who is justified. It is called simul iustus et peccator in the Latin. This means simultaneously right before God and yet conflicted.
It is not a “school marmish” idea of superficial improvement. Nuns are not rapping your knuckles with a ruler. There is no program of a progressive increase in virtue. There is no self-deception about inherent righteousness. It is the deep magic that is not magic. It is a free one-way blessing that positively re-orients you to your Maker. It is a real righteousness that covers a real, and continuing, flailing about. It is becoming a grown-up. It is the blessing of God the Father which in itself, affirms, creates purpose, and breaks the curse.
COMMENTS
11 responses to “Fathers, Sons, and the Reformation Part II”
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Browder. . . amazing.
Thank you… again!
Browder-so much hotter than NT Wright right now-Browder.
I still carry around a set of beat-up CDs of Rod’s presentation that I copied off of Charles Gaston years ago…as the father of a son his talk has been invaluable.
Your insights and interpretations of Rod’s presentation are WONDERFUL. Thank you.
FANTASTIC…that hits home in a big way…
Thanks for this sincere and insightful post.
I particularly like this paragraph:
“The industrial and technological revolutions of the past couple of centuries have done a lot of good in terms of material prosperity and quality of life. The ill it has done, however, is to take fathers away from their sons at critical junctures. Gone are the days of the father teaching the son about seasons of planting and harvest, the habits of the whitetail deer, and the various uses of particular timber stands. Of course, these skills are not the important thing. What is important is the amount of time spent with the son… that the son is worthy of time and effort and vitally important to the family.”
I think a lot about alienation, and how compartmentalized we are in the modern world. I think your post clearly highlights this as seen in families of busy, working men (or any kind absent father). It’s interesting that you point out situations where a father and son would be spending natural quality time together (farming, hunting, etc.) but then say these skills are not necessarily important. This seems to me part of the problem – the divisions between ourselves and the Earth and it’s bounty, as well as the lack of our elders’ blessings. Our consumption of food is supposed to fill us with vitality, keep us healthy – instead more and more people are sick and obese because they are so divorced from their environment and the processes that ultimately stock their refrigerators. I believe that there IS an inextricable link between time spent with elders and learning about basic life-cycles.
Please, I would love to read your thoughts.
Trevor, that’s an interesting point. I have many parts of my family who are either farmers or in the timber business. Being from my particular geography, there is also a lot of hunting and fishing.
Let me think about that as it relates to father/son relationships and I’ll post something later.
Hey Browder I don’t know if you’re still checking this…but I’ve been keen to hear your thoughts (though not impatient). Feel free to email me if you want: mrtrevorbrown@gmail.com
Holding me accountable, huh? 😉 I’ll try to post something tomorrow if not this evening. It is an interesting question.
Trevor, after thinking about it a little bit, I think a more natural environment can be an extremely suitable place for this father/son interaction to take place. I’m not convinced, however, that there is a necessary tie.
Take, for example, the apprentice system in Victorian England. You can be a chimney sweep in London with your son as an apprentice and the same interaction/blessing can take place. If you want to go Star Wars, think about the Jedi/Padawan relationship. Just don’t put me on Conan O’Brien.
I think what we have now is an ever-increasing goal of efficiency which breeds a premium on 21st century specialization. This means tech, tax, finance, logistical, and other things become highly complicated and technical. The son then becomes one to be taken care of until he can get into Cornell and learn about derivatives. In that, the father/son dynamic is lost.
Even in farming these days, this is the case. Maybe you have some thoughts.