From his recent autobiography, Clapton, describing his “rock bottom” moment. Amazing:
“I stumbled through my month in treatment much as I had done the first time, just ticking off the days, hoping that something would change in me without me having to do much about it. Then one day, as my visit was drawing to an end, a panic hit me, and I realized that in fact nothing had changed in me, and that I was going back out into the world again completely unprotected. The noise in my head was deafening, and drinking was in my thoughts all the time. It shocked me to realize that here I was in a treatment center, a supposedly safe environment, and I was in serious danger. I was absolutely terrified, in complete despair.
At that moment, almost of their own accord, my legs gave way and I fell to my knees. In the privacy of my room I begged for help. I had no notion who I thought I was talking to, I just knew that I had come to the end of my tether, I had nothing left to fight with. Then I remembered what I had heard about surrender, something I thought I could never do, my pride just wouldn’t allow it, but I knew that on my own I wasn’t going to make it, so I asked for help, and, getting down on my knees, I surrendered.
Within a few days I realized that something had happened for me. An atheist would probably say it was just a change of attitude, and to a certain extent that’s true, but there was much more to it than that. I had found a place to turn to, a place I’d always known was there but never really wanted, or needed, to believe in. From that day until this, I have never failed to pray in the morning, on my knees, asking for help, and at night, to express gratitude for my life and, most of all, for my sobriety. I choose to kneel because I feel I need to humble myself when I pray, and with my ego, this is the most I can do.” (pg. 235-36)
COMMENTS
5 responses to “Eric Clapton on Recovery”
Leave a Reply
This is exactly, EXACTLY what I would like to teach concerning prayer, and at All Saints, as the rector’s forum turns to that subject this coming Sunday.
This is pure religion.
This is a great quote. I work at Teen Challenge as a D&A therapist, and I myself am a recovering addict. What is important to notice here I think is how his underlying motive changed. At first he said he was just “ticking off the days hoping that something would change…” This indicated that his motive to be in treatment was to “fix” or “mitigate” some negative consequences he was experiencing due to his addiction. In other words, he was motivated to obey the law out of either love of reward or escape from pain; which are weak motives indeed. However, the change came when he became in complete despair that nothing had changed. That is a powerful insight! Some of the men I work with have been so saturated with a “theology of glory” that they automatically assume that if they are feeling despair, terror, or hopelessness that it is a bad thing or a sign that God is not working in their lives. I have to remind them that actually, God is most present when we are in the most pain and God is actually causing the despair. It is satan who desires to keep us from despair. For some reason this logic of God in suffering and pain is absent from most Christian communities. So I make the statement to them that “depression is good”. That is so countercultural in an age where anti-depressants run the show. I have the Bible backing me though.
“It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.
3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.” (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4)
David!
Amazing comment!
“God is most present when we are in the most pain, and God is actually causing the despair.” – very profound.
Kate and I were actually talking about this last night. We are often so averse to pain, and we do everything we can to avoid death, but that is exactly what God has chosen to work through. He used death (the punishment and consequence for our sin – the thing intended for destruction by Satan) “to make all things new”.
Clapton’s story and yours reveal that life is all about death and resurrection.
Amazing verses too! Thank you so much.
At the risk of overdoing the Waterdeep quotes, I offer yet another. There is a refrain to one of Don Chaffer’s songs that repeats, “Bring the sadness back in”. I always liked this line because I am so afraid of feeling my pain, any pain. There is only One who is big and strong enough to even find that point of pain, expose it, and love me in it. I am so glad Paul is using this Clapton story conserning prayer. The whisper from my breakdown–big or small–is when I am most honest talking to God.
I absolutely agree! I am closest to my higher power when i am hurting and call out to Him..