Jesus I’m a sucker; I
Wish I believed less of the lies
Did anything I thought I knew
Turn out to be true?
Baby boys and little toys are all that I see anymore
Will somebody close the door?
It’s cold outside
Every single time I thought that
I had figured it all out
I was run aground again and
Floundering with crazy doubt
Maybe every way I’d learned
To deal with the tragedy
Was just another junkyard find
Rust-eaten and raggedy
Confronted with the reality of having to be a father to his new son, Don Chaffer of the band Waterdeep wrote these lyrics to his song “Close the Door”. He knew his son would look to him as a guide, provider, comforter, and he realized he was a total “sucker”.
While I am not dealing with the responsibility of raising children, I am continually confronted with some sort of demand that exposes who I really am and how I really deal with life. It always leaves me bare, and it always shows that the ways I’ve “learned to deal with the tragedy” are simply junk. I cope in whatever way I can, but like Don Chaffer the demand brings me to my end and all I can do is confess “Jesus, I’m a sucker; I wish I believed less of the lies”.
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